Choose Joy: It’s the Best Medicine

A fresh start implies change and can be, frankly, scary. It is usually forced upon us by an event – more often than not, an emotional event; in my case, the unexpected death of my husband. I won’t drag you through it – however I will share observations. A comparable situation might be the necessary uprooting of a family and making a move you wish was not necessary. In a situation that makes one feel upside down, the natural desire is to work hard to “right” oneself. Not an easy task.

Others close to the situation are trying to do the same thing, and so one may feel the need to make life right for them also. There is always one person hit harder than anyone else. Often it can be the youngest member in the family. It might also be someone who’s never experienced such an event. What I will tell you is that a consistency of effort can provide unexpected comfort. With comfort comes the desired ability to move mentally to a place—any place—approximating happiness. Believe it or not, it is happiness we seek. To admit this is not shallow, it is in a word “truth.”

An event such as I have described does not “build character.” In my eighty years of life I have found that it is, instead, a good fight and bullheaded determination to survive that builds character. Internal “wars” are won by an unyielding spirit. One must look at the situation unflinchingly. Depending on the magnitude – in my family’s case, fairly large – one may spend many hours and days attempting to reinstate some degree of normalcy. Complete normalcy will not happen. However, do not underestimate the power of love. Love “cuts slack” and makes exceptions.

Over time, love heals and love refills the voids. Memories eventually cease to be sorrowful, and instead acquire a healing warmth. Our bodies are miraculous, surpassed only by our brains. I wish for all of you, that at sometime in your life, you will acknowledge your powers. They are the gifts we are all given at conception. They are meant to save us and to provide us with a supreme patience. It is that very patience that will hold us upright and ease our hearts. It will allow us to help others to find their way.

I wish for all of you a blessed New Year.