The Grandma (With Apologies To Kenny Rogers)

With my four little children, on a MAX train bound for Gresham,
I met up with a Grandma; she helped me rock the twins to sleep.

Then we took turns a-starin’ out the window at the darkness.

A saintly glow came over her and she began to speak.

She said, “Son, I’ve made a life out of readin’ children’s faces,
Knowin’ where their hearts were by the way they held their eyes.

So if you don’t mind my sayin’, I can see you’re out of patience.

For a taste of your Gatorade, I’ll give you some advice.

So I handed her my fruit jar, and she drank down my last swallow.

Then she took a safety pin and stuck it to my shirt.

As the point went in my shoulder; as I winced in pain she told me,
“Parenting’s not easy; sometimes it’s going to hurt.”

Chorus:

You got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to scold ‘em,
Know when to look away, and whether you should spank.

You always count your blessings when you sit down at the table,
And if they grow up healthy, you’ll have the Lord to thank.

Every Grandma knows the secret to survival
Is knowin’ what your children want isn’t always what they need.

And the only way to tell for sure is read what’s in the Bible,
So you can hear the Spirit’s voice, and follow where He leads.

I was starin’ out the window, thinkin’ what she’d told me.

I turned to ask a question, but she had disappeared.

And often I have wondered, was she a Grandma or an angel?

Either way, she gave me hope that’s lasted all these years.

Chorus:

You got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to scold ‘em,
Know when to look away, and whether you should spank.

You always count your blessings when you sit down at the table,
And if they grow up healthy, you’ll have the Lord to thank.