All the sunshine and flowers have brought forth a larger than usual show of Tiger Swallowtail butterflies; the lovely yellow ones with black markings and a long, separated tail. They love the bushes with cone shaped clusters of tiny purple flowers and the roses. These lovely insects are my favorites for a very special reason.
The Sunday before my mother died, she had disappeared into a comatose state; at once a blessing and a sadness. I had given my sister a much needed respite from sitting beside her as she lay in a hospital bed in her family room. The sliding glass doors leading to the patio were open. The scene was one she had always loved. The blooming roses and myriad of other flowers were periodically covered with the Tiger Swallowtail butterflies. They were Mom’s favorites, also. She had once spent happy hours sitting among them.
My mother was a beautiful woman who loved her family above all else. Her next love was that of travel. My father died at age 65 and left a bereft widow. After that first heartbreaking Christmas alone, my mother sought travel in order to take her mind off the void in her life. She and two close friends would book a cruise during the holidays. We were happy for her and would postpone “Christmas with grandma” until she arrived home.
Eventually, she became something of a cruise “junkie”. And, we acclimated to Christmas in January just fine. This went on until her two travel companions became infirm. Mom continued for a while, meeting numerous business men who found her worthy of a proposal. Mom was witty, attractive and extremely bright. Periodically, Mom was toasted and honored for her number of cruises, always at the Captain’s Table.
In her early 80’s, mother began to stay home for the holidays and so it went. Then Mom got sick. A special insurance policy enabled us to keep her in her home with a house keeper and nurse. With her beloved Siamese cat and my sister and I, we kept her happy. Inevitably, however, we were just not enough and soon began her journey with Hospice.
Mom would fade in and out of reality. I was the one who sat beside her that last Summer Sunday. Mom was deep in a coma, but I spoke to her anyway. I spoke of sunshine and warmth, of love and Daddy and butterflies. I told her that I hoped when she passed on that she would become eternally a lovely Tiger Swallowtail butterfly. I told her I hoped she would visit us each Summer. Finally, I laid my head against her and gave way to quiet tears.
Mom passed away the following Tuesday all those years ago. Every Summer since then I find myself surrounded by Tiger Swallowtail butterflies. There will always be one that comes amazingly close, hovering near my face. I know deep in my heart that Mom is there reminding me that hers is a forever love. And, that is the best medicine.
No Comments
Leave a comment Cancel